Building a New Empire

What a long, strange road it’s been.

When I began this blog a little over a year ago, I was anticipating my children moving on, perhaps a bit of the empty nest syndrome, moving out of my large house and into a smaller, more manageable place, maybe doing more social things or traveling. What I did not anticipate was the complete and utter transformation of my life.

With my recent decision to reconcile with my man, I am now facing the reality of a move to Key Largo. What was once something that I was considering, and perhaps fighting, and ultimately unresolved over, has become my new goal. With this, comes the challenge of building my new life there.

I was batting around the idea of working for one of the many resorts around there. I don’t have a network there, and I only have a vague idea of the local economy, so I thought this was a safe bet. I also considered working with a chiropractor. What keeps peeking up at me from the recesses of my mind, though, is an option to open a new business of my own. I have been mentally fleshing it out for a few days now, considering ideas, rejecting some, accepting others. This is my process for blowing life into an idea. Much like a small ember, it requires oxygen and fuel to roar into a raging fire.

At this point, I am allowing the embers to smolder. I am gathering my resources and working on a plan. I have been exhausted with all of the upheaval, and yet, I feel my energy slowly building back. I am feeling the barest hints of excitement, of hope, and I am guarding my fledgling idea until it matures and is ready to soar. Wish me luck!

My newest book is available now on Amazon on Kindle and in paperback!

How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

Click here to order yours! http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

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5 Painful Lessons for a Small Business Owner


I have been thinking for a few days, that your point of view truly makes all of the difference in the world. It occurs to me that there are two narratives related to my life.

The first is that I did not like where things were headed in my life, so I took steps to downsize, simplify, eliminate stress, and get healthy. That has been what was running through my head for months as I had gone through the process of moving from my house into an RV, moving from a large office suite into a smaller office (though my treatment room is much larger), and going on an Atkins diet to lose weight and get my blood sugar under control before it becomes a concern.

It occurs to the cynic in me, though, that there is an alternate view to this. I could view the steps that I have taken were because I screwed up, I was a business failure that got in over my head, couldn’t keep up, got wildly overweight due to the stress and drinking too much, and finally ran away from my obligations.

While an argument can be made that both are true, the first is my truth. I did make a mistake in expanding my business. I did get in way over my head. I do not have any interest in managing staff (what a headache!). I did find that I was working constantly and felt as though I was drowning. The difference, though, was that rather than running away (God, did I want to!), I knew that I was the only one who could undo the disaster that I had created for myself. At times, I felt as though I was trying to turn a massive shipping boat away from a glacier before impact. [Related: I almost ran away today!]

So, how did I manage to pull through this?

1. Take care of your clients:
I knew that I could not cheat my clients. With no clients, there will never be a business. If I had just shut my doors, I would never have been able to start another business. With the internet, you cannot travel far enough to escape a bad name. As long as I found a way to satisfy my clients, I will remain a success.

2. This, too, shall pass:
I am not an overly religious person, but I have always known that even after a horrible, tragic event, there will be a tomorrow. The worst thing that could happen is I die, in which case, tomorrow won’t matter, so I understand that this is just a crappy time, and I will get through it eventually.

3. Understand your motivation:
I understand my own personal morality. I always try to do what is ethically right. This is not to say that I have not done things that have harmed or hurt other people. I have. What I mean by this is that I always try to make up for my wrongs that I have committed. It may not be on their timetable, but I will eventually make it right to the best of my ability. When I screw up, I apologize, make amends to the best of my ability, and move on. Harboring ill will toward another is a foolish waste of energy. [Related: Phoenix Rising]

4. Know when to cut your losses:
Sometimes you just need to pick up your toys and go play somewhere else. The secret is knowing the right time to do so. If I have learned one thing out of all of this, it is knowing when to say, this isn’t working, and move on. That includes people, situations, relationships, vendors, and even family, if that is a toxic situation. I have learned that unpleasant situations will continue until you have the strength and courage to end it. I have found that it is the fear of confrontation, far more than the actual event, that is the worst part. Usually, it ends up better for all parties concerned, when you just confront the problem. [Related: When Nothing is Certain, Everything is Possible]

5. Know when to give it up to God:
Again, this is not a religious post. God may be Spirit, The Universe, your Guardian Angels, your magic spells, or just a prayer to the ether. The point is, sometimes you just have run out of options and scenarios, and you have to give up. When that happens, it is like the Universe steps in with solutions. I suppose it is almost like what we do with our children. We let them exhaust themselves trying to figure something out, and then we guide them when they lose their way. It has only been when I was at my wits end, that a solution finally presented itself. Don’t be afraid to ask. [Related: It’s Time to Create My Future]

Running a small business can be daunting, but by being clear on your motives and keeping a positive outlook, it can be the most rewarding endeavor you have ever undertaken.

Click Here for Related Stories

Read More 

Embracing Life and My Girls
Too Tender for Tinder
Claim Your Birthright, My Daughter
What It Means To Be a Woman
I Just Want Peace and Quiet
I Choose Me
Toxic People – Gossip At Every Age
13 Life Lessons for my Daughter
You Never Listen To Mom…Til You Are The Mom!


Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

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All Things Come In Time

Yesterday, my partner and I, with grudging help from my daughter, moved my office from the suite that had been the bane of my existence for the past year, into a new, spacious office with a window that looks out onto a nature preserve. I am surprised that my man actually didn’t murder me, since by the end of the night, our nerves were frayed. Somehow, we managed to get it completely done, and I was able to prepare my room for business.

It will, no doubt, take me months to get my office just the way I want it, but I don’t mind. The hardest part was trying to incorporate 5 rooms of decorations and supplies into one large room. I donated, stored, and hid what I could. My car looks like it belongs to a homeless person, since I have things piled inside. I guess there won’t be any reason to lower the convertible top for a bit. 
The thing is, I can breathe now. I have finally moved from my house, and moved from my large office, and things are falling into place. I finally feel as if I have a handle on my life for the first time in a very long time. With every decision I make, the next step becomes clear. I have finally positioned myself to climb out of the crater I dug for myself. 
I just came in from outside. Our RV backs up to a large lake, and it is filled with ducks and turtles. As I was sitting on a log, enjoying the sunset, a turtle was peeking up at me from the water. I called to Adam to bring me some bread, and we fed the ducks and turtles together. I can actually feel my stress melting away. I wonder why I allowed myself to get so deep before I stopped. I need some time to just be alone with my thoughts and ponder my motivations. 

I am also 3 days into the Atkins diet. I have attained the Holy Grail of ketosis, and have already shed a few pounds. I do not know the exact figure, because I stopped weighing myself months ago. I can tell you that I lost 1.1 lbs overnight, and I know I was down before. I feel lighter and better in my clothes already. The occasional lure of Pinot Grigio whispers to me, but I have been able to quash the urge. Adam just called me to see if I wanted some Thin Mints that the Girl Scouts were selling at the store, and I replied with a resounding NO. You see, during the past few years of chaos and stress, my cortisol levels have been insanely high. Now that I have been able to rein in the craziness, I do not feel the siren call of wine and comfort food like I did. It has taken me years to put on this weight, so I can’t expect any sudden miracles, but it is always gratifying to see the weight slip off when you give up carbs. 

Finally, I can just breathe again. I am striving to limit my encounters with people who bring me stress. As I am able to get on a more stable financial footing again, I look forward to traveling. Adam has already decided on the Everglades first, but I’d like to explore further North. One day at a time, one step at a time, all things come in time. 

Click Here for Related Stories

#Atkins Diet
These are from a series of videos I did in 2016 about my #weightloss with the #Atkins #LowCarb #Diet. I thought it would be a good idea to integrate them into my blog on my #Health & #WeightLoss page. Hope you enjoy!

Weight Loss and Body Image
Don’t Cut the Cheese!
I Refuse To Burnout!
7 lbs Gone in 5 Days!
All Things Come In Time
It’s My Time!
Day 10 of Atkins Diet 
Peace At Last
Atkins Diet week 3; Melting Weight Loss
Atkins Diet, week 3! Loving the Weight Loss!!!
Week 4 and Incredible 19 lbs lost on Atkins!
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Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

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My "Vision" is Failing Me!

I am the type of person who has to see an idea in my minds-eye before I can create it. It really is quite simple for me most of the time. I am able to make connections between disparate parts, and come up with a plan that works. Once I have that vision, I am unstoppable.

I admit, though, that my vision is failing me now.

I have my daughter that is graduating high school in the Spring, and potentially moving out, which opens up my ability to downsize into a more realistic place. At the same time, I have my business which is plugging along just fine. I have a new person in place to help with the expansion, and things are getting ready for Season. I also have reconciled with my boyfriend, and he wants us to get a place together.

The issue I am having is reconciling all of these moving parts:

1. I have no idea if my daughter will be ready to move out shortly after graduation. When I ask her about her plans, she is quite vague. There is some talk of boyfriend, some talk of school, some talk of job. I have been very clear about expectations, but I suppose I was not the most focused and ambitious at her age, either, hence my marriage at 18.

2. If she does move out, and I am able to downsize, I am faced with the challenge of finding a place that allows a 40lb, loving, sweet, low-key Pitbull. I have no interest in purchasing a home, since I am not sure about my long-term plans, so that leaves rentals.

3. My boyfriend would like me to move out with him, which would solve my dog issue, but would increase my commute to almost an hour either way. Were I to move my business, as he suggests, I would literally be starting from scratch in a market that is not as profitable as the one where I currently work. I could open a satellite office part time, but I would be splitting my efforts, while increasing my overhead.

All of these are the reasons that I was so interested in obtaining a “Tiny House.” I still think that I want to get a small RV for my pup and I. We can travel back and forth to work and my boyfriend’s house, while still having our own space. The issue, of course, is where to park it. Do I find one of the many RV parks around here, or just drive around in a small one that is completely self-contained? Do I just get an apartment in town? Do I just suck up the long commute and move in with my boyfriend?

I suppose in the big picture, none of these are insurmountable obstacles. In fact, it could be argued that I have little to bitch about. I just can’t see how these things will reconcile for me, so it is like a looping soundtrack in my head. Hence, you, my dear reader, are here to help me with solutions. I feel like I’m going a bit nutty right now. Help!

Click Here for Related Stories


Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

I almost ran away today…

I love being a business owner. Once upon a time, I was working for a good company. I had benefits, health insurance, even a retirement plan. What I didn’t have was freedom to determine my own path. I couldn’t implement the many changes that I saw needed to be changed. I could work (or not work) and my hours and pay would stay the same. Once a year, I would have an annual review where I could possibly get anywhere from a 1-3% increase. All that changed when my boss, who was actually a wonderful mentor, told me the only way to break out into the next level of my stagnant career was to go into sales.

I wonder if you can understand just how scary that was for me. I had two young kids at home, bills to pay and never enough money. The fear of giving up a “steady paycheck” for commission was terrifying. What if I couldn’t make it? What if no one bought from me? How would I cover my bills? Could I go back if it didn’t work? I agonized over it, but I finally decided that I had to do it.

I tell this story, not because of what happened next (I made more money, I stayed in sales for years, bought a house, traveled), but because of how my life was determined based on that one small decision. My parents were both Civil Servants for the government. They both have had very responsible jobs that, at times, required top secret clearance. They both had responsible and relatively safe jobs. Mom had always told me to get a job with benefits and weekends off for the kids. I was told to seek safety and stability. To go into sales was a frightening unknown.

I have come to realize that fear paralyzes. I would argue that fear is one of the greatest causes of evil in the world. People are afraid to make a move, get married, get divorced, have kids, don’t have kids, leave a job, accept a job. I see clients every day that hate their jobs. They stay because they need the money, because they have seniority and a retirement package. They also have deteriorating health, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, and stressed out family lives.

During this recession, I have seen many people displaced and struggling with their identity after being laid off after years with a company. I have come to realize that there is no “safe” job. People have been downsized, right-sized, off-shored, rehired as temps, forced to take pay-cuts and part-time work. People fear “outsiders” that may take their jobs / benefits / get something that was supposed to go to them. Fear causes hatred, pain and evil.

Earlier this year, I expanded my business into a much larger space. I knew it was straining the boundaries of my credit and financial capability, but I decided to go for it. I admit, I have had a few stumbles along the road. I spend long hours at the office, work until I am aching, stress over staffing issues and how in the hell I’m going to make the bills. The thing is, though, I always do. It may not be on the schedule of my bill collector, but it happens. I’m still here, and I’m still plugging along. My fear now is about timing. When the wolf is at the door, and it seems dark out, do I run, or do I stay the course? I have struggled with this for a few months now.


I’ve discovered that if I just ask questions, ask for advice, and keep my ears open, opportunities will present themselves. I was ready to pack it up today. I really wanted to run. I sought advice, and it was not what I had hoped for, but it showed me that running was not an option. Amazingly, right after that, I received some positive news.

So, making the decision to go into sales almost two decades ago, set me on the path of now owning my own business. It has meant a whole new level of freedom and control of my destiny. It has brought me to a new level of economic independence. It has also come with a new set of fears. Running my own business is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. It is also the scariest. Every day I have to face down my fear and keep making those scary decisions. To think, it all started all those years ago with one small decision.
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