Building a New Empire

What a long, strange road it’s been.

When I began this blog a little over a year ago, I was anticipating my children moving on, perhaps a bit of the empty nest syndrome, moving out of my large house and into a smaller, more manageable place, maybe doing more social things or traveling. What I did not anticipate was the complete and utter transformation of my life.

With my recent decision to reconcile with my man, I am now facing the reality of a move to Key Largo. What was once something that I was considering, and perhaps fighting, and ultimately unresolved over, has become my new goal. With this, comes the challenge of building my new life there.

I was batting around the idea of working for one of the many resorts around there. I don’t have a network there, and I only have a vague idea of the local economy, so I thought this was a safe bet. I also considered working with a chiropractor. What keeps peeking up at me from the recesses of my mind, though, is an option to open a new business of my own. I have been mentally fleshing it out for a few days now, considering ideas, rejecting some, accepting others. This is my process for blowing life into an idea. Much like a small ember, it requires oxygen and fuel to roar into a raging fire.

At this point, I am allowing the embers to smolder. I am gathering my resources and working on a plan. I have been exhausted with all of the upheaval, and yet, I feel my energy slowly building back. I am feeling the barest hints of excitement, of hope, and I am guarding my fledgling idea until it matures and is ready to soar. Wish me luck!

My newest book is available now on Amazon on Kindle and in paperback!

How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

Click here to order yours! http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

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Feeling Rudderless

They say that home is where the heart is. I have recently chosen to be homeless.

I suppose that isn’t exactly what I am. I live in a 5th wheel trailer, and have been able to move to a beautiful new location in the tropics. During this transition, though, I am moving back and forth between cities. It is difficult to accept my new location, because I am not finished in my old home.

I feel restless and unsettled. I cannot take my pup with me as I travel back and forth. My children are in different cities. My man is in my new location. My friends are in my old locations. My loyalties are torn.

I suppose it is because I wasn’t quite ready to make the change. That isn’t to say that I am unhappy with recent developments. On the contrary, I am thrilled that I am able to move into an area that I have wanted to be for many years. It is just that I have so many loose ends to tie up. I have been living in two cities, and I see it continuing for some time.

As I am writing this, I do recognize that the reason for this is because my mind has not yet accepted my new reality. I do understand that I am continuing this because I am not yet ready to walk away. I wish that I was, because it would make this so much simpler. I suspect that I will mosey down this path until continuing this situation becomes silly.
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I wonder if part of my reluctance to move on is due to the fact that it is my lover’s choice instead of mine. Our timetables were off a bit. I feel like I needed another year or two before moving on. This was so sudden and abrupt, that I had not had time to transition.

As we were driving around earlier today, I was trying to remember what I felt like when I first moved to SWFL from Charleston, SC. The difference was that I had been ready to leave Charleston. I planned it. I directed it. I made it happen. When I got to SWFL, I was eager and excited for a new opportunity. Now, though, I just feel like I didn’t have enough time. I have business to wrap up. I have friends that I don’t want to leave. I have a daughter that is in the process of growing up, and she is choosing not to join me in my new location. It is difficult for me to reconcile.

I know that I will make new friends. I know my old friends will remain in my life. I know that I will begin a new business. I know that I will be okay. I even know that I struggle because of my own internal conflict, and that I can resolve it in time. I don’t know what it will take to resolve it, but I know that I will recognize it when it is time. Until then, I will just plug along, half in, and half out.

Click Here for Related Stories


Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

A Letter To My Love Upon Leaving

I am only an hour away from you, and I can feel an unsettled pit in my stomach. I know that we will only be a part for a week, and yet this feels as if it’s forever. I haven’t felt this kind of ache in many years. I love our new home together, and I hate that I must leave you to take care of business.

I remember the first time I felt an ache like this. I was only a young girl, and moving away from my first love. I remember feeling as though my heart would fall out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Years later, I felt it again when my lover left me. I feel both happy and sad that I have this ache. I have become so divorced from my feelings for so long, that it is nice to know that I can still be affected. It is terrible, though, feel this pain.

I just want to turn my car around and rush back to you. I know that I could. I know that I could just run away from my obligations, and come back to you. I won’t, though. To do so would be to betray who and what I am. I cannot do that in good conscience.

These next couple of months are going to be more challenging than I anticipated. I cannot believe that I will have to leave you every week for the next several months. I can only hope that these separations will make us stronger. I love you, my love. I will miss you, but I will also be back.


Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

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Last Night In Town

As I drive around the city that I have called home for the past seven years, it occurs to me, that this is my last day that I will call this home. Tomorrow, I will be moving to a new city.

It is quite familiar, and a little strange. I feel almost bittersweet. It is almost, anti-climatic. I feel as though I need to have some sort of commemoration for this moment.

The thing is, I will be saying goodbye to this place for months. Since I am still working my business, and expect to be for the next several months, I will not officially be gone. It feels like the long, slow goodbye. I am in a half-state. I am not quite a resident, and not quite an outsider.

These thoughts hit me as I was sitting eating a late lunch. In this city, we have many seasonal visitors, who are desperate to make connections with others. I overhear them sitting at the bar, using voices just beyond a polite level, desperately hoping that someone will engage them. I will be that person as of tomorrow. The city we have chosen is surrounded by familiar territory, and yet it is completely new. I find myself wondering if my grocery store will carry the products that I have grown to love and depend upon. I wonder who my new friends will be and how long it will take for me to make them. I wonder how far to the newest movie theater. I think about all of my “people,” and how I am going to have to find new “people.”

With all of this said, I am excited. My brain is going a million miles a minute. I’ve been thinking about my business, my friends, my life, my partner, my child. I’ve been wondering if I would like my new home. It is exciting, and I can’t even say that I’m afraid, I guess I am just wondering what my new life will look like.

Sometimes, these resets are necessary. This will be our opportunity to start a new narrative. Will I be a massage therapist? Will I find a place to work? Will I get involved with the business community? Will I just stay quiet for a while? I plan to go back and forth between cities for the next couple of months. I wonder when I will get tired. I wonder when it will no longer be lucrative. I also know I will miss my friends and clients. I guess I feel vaguely sad.

Finally, I am excited for the future. This will truly be a clean slate for my partner and I. We will be starting out fresh terrain and equal footing. What will this mean for us? How will our roles be redefined? Stay tuned!

Click Here for Related Stories


Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

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What It Means To Be a Woman

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Lately, I have been considering just what it means to be a woman.

I heard an NPR broadcast on Marketplace with Melinda Gates not too long ago about Time Poverty and women. [Related: Help Solve the Time Poverty Problem by Making Your Partner Do the Dishes Tonight and Melinda Gates Offers a Solution to Time Poverty and Melinda Gates on balancing the burden of unpaid work]

In it, she is discusses how, across the globe, women are tasked with an over-sized burden of unpaid work such as family care, child care, housekeeping, etc. She tells the story of a young girl in Africa. Of all of the things that this girl wants, she asks for the headlamp of Melinda’s daughter so that she has time to study at 10:30 at night, after all of her chores are done. This is compared to her brother who studies at 4:30 in the afternoon.

In Salt Lake City, UT, where I lived until I was 10, we were Mormon. I remember my mother often saying that the women there were like Super Women. They truly tried to care for their families while baking, cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, and having way more children than I ever wanted. In Charleston, SC, where I lived through high school, and much of my adulthood, I was consistently under the pressure of the “Church” which has invaded, informed, and molded Southern society with moral and social rules of conduct.

Over the years, I have often been called a lazy woman. I have been accused of not properly caring for my children. My son went to private Catholic School until the 5th grade. Though I worked my behind off to pay the tuition, the child care, and to buy the stupid uniforms, I would have notes sent home if there was a stain on his white shirt. Never mind that I was the sole breadwinner. Never mind that I worked all day, rushed to pick up my children after school, got home to fix dinner, bathe the children, then had to put them to bed. There was no time for anything else. Is a spot on a white shirt of a young boy really that big of a deal – particularly when the uniforms were $20 per shirt?!

Of course, the days of daily childcare are long past for me, but I still have frequent discussions with my partner about household tasks. We both work full time. I run my own business as a massage therapist, and it is a physically and mentally taxing job. He is a marine contractor, and it is also a physically demanding job. We both get home at roughly the same time, and we contribute fairly equally to the overall budget. Yet, even we have the occasional flare up over chores at home. A recent argument that occurred was over who was going to stop in at the grocery store after work. These problems happen for all women, and I would consider myself a fortunate one. I, at least, have the maturity and means to negotiate with a level of power in my relationship. Not all women are that fortunate.

This leads me to another problem, though. Why is it that women, who make up the vast majority of the human population, and are considered a god-like Mother figure to every child born of a woman, are often subjugated, marginalized, and abused? Women are the vessel that brings forth life from the Spirit World. Women’s hands are the ones that rock the cradle. Women’s arms are the ones that embrace the bodies of their lovers and husbands. It is the hug of Mom that soothes you when you are sick. It is her late night whispers into the ear of her man that shape his heart and mind. Why is it, then, that women do not exercise their power to negotiate a fairer existence? I often think about the wives of powerful politicians and wonder why they allow their husbands to pass laws that are so clearly discriminatory and horrible for women and society at large.

It is too easy to blame men for our condition. The problem with this, though, is that in blaming men, we give up our very power to change our situation. We are all the victims of history, religion, social policy and genders roles. We find ourselves defaulting into roles created for us, and never even stopping to wonder why. Would we honestly still be discussing women’s access to birth-control if we, as women, just said to our men: no birth control, no sex?

This does lead me to another question…one of sexual violence against women. I think that most women, at some point, have allowed ourselves to be coerced into sex that we did not want. It does occur to me, though, that were a man to actually attempt to rape me, I would be so disgusted by him that I would laugh with ridicule and contempt. After all, what is rape but a power struggle? Rape is intended to exert power against someone. I wonder, were I to respond with laughter, would my rapist be able to proceed? I may well end up beaten or dead, but I would not be a victim of rape. Even as I type this, I find myself reacting with rage at the thought of someone even trying.

And so, this leads me back to our participation in our own subjugation. As a 5’4″, overweight woman, I would be little challenge against physical threat, and yet, I do not fear such things. Physical might isn’t what wins the day. Think for a moment about the Grand Canyon. This amazing formation was carved into rock by water. Water is changeable, formless, passive and aggressive. Water as a hurricane can decimate land. Water as a river can nourish land. Water, as a steady dripping on your forehead, can drive you insane. Water is necessary for life, but an overabundance can take your life.

I wonder, what would society look like, if women refused to participate in their own subjugation. Would we finally have a fairer distribution of household and child-rearing tasks? Would our contribution be valued? Would we stop having ridiculous old men dictating to us about our clothing, morality, and sexual rights? If we recognized that we have power and influence, if we only use it, what could we accomplish?

Lest you think this is an anti-male post, let me assure you that it is not. I have a father who has shaped me into an educated, strong and independent woman. I have a son who understands and values women. I have a partner that works with me to create our lives that we enjoy together. Men are a source of love and protection. Men are meant to be our partners and assist us where we are weak. Through a true blending, we create a stronger unit for our families and society. There cannot be a whole unit if one partner is considered inferior. It is not through sexual warfare that we will succeed in equality. It is through embracing all that it means to be a woman, that we can restore our power. We are beloved daughters, worshiped mothers, favorite grandmothers, cherished care-takers, as well as steely and powerful leaders. Our hearts, so often maligned as weak, are the source of our greatest strength. It is time that we recognize and celebrate women for what we are: the moral and spiritual guide for the world.

Click Here for Related Stories


Easy 7 Day Keto Meal Plan: 
Simple Ingredients, Limited Prep, and No Baking 
eBook $2.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tk7bcW
What can I eat on the Keto Diet? Is my favorite food ok? Will I have to buy weird ingredients? This book is meant to give you a very brief overview of the Keto Diet, the process that happens to your body, and a week’s worth of simple meal plans to get your started. Each meal plan is chosen for its simplicity, limited preparation, and no baking!

Lose 25 Pounds in a Month
My Journey on the Keto Diet & Road Map for You 
eBook $3.99 & Paperback $5.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2saAOxw
You are ready to transform your body into the person you always knew you could be. You are done with excuses, and are ready to start your weight loss journey. You are ready to take control and you are grabbing the tools for your metamorphosis. Come! Learn! Lose up to 25 pounds in a month using the Keto Diet.


How To Massage Your Lover: 
Create greater intimacy and deeper bonds with your Spouse, Lover, or Partner with the loving touch of massage.
eBook $4.50 & Paperback $8.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2reYhZZ

Create deeper intimacy and bonding between you and your partner through the loving touch of massage. You will learn how to perform an hour long, full body massage just like the professionals.

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