My newest book: A Tiger’s Heart: A Book of Poetry is now live on Amazon for sale in ebook and paperback. The link is: https://amzn.to/2LkkUXt.
In your hands, you hold over 30 years of my poetry. These poems were born out of joy, pain, love, agony, lust and anger. They begin when I was a very young girl, and span into adulthood, marriage, divorce and motherhood.
I invite you to share in the passion that has ruled my untamed heart for many years.
Yesterday, I cleaned out my RV and placed it for sale.
In doing this, I have had to take what few belongings I have left and move them into my Mom’s house. My next step will be reviewing what I have and trying to squish into two suitcases
what I want to take with me to Africa for the next two years.
Fortunately, I have already given most of my worldly possessions to my kids. Anything extra with non-sentimental value has been donated. What I am left with is truly the distillation of what means the most to me, plus some stuff I need to live.
As I was chatting with my friend last night, I was saying that this truly feels like a rebirth to me. I have literally shed all trappings of my life thus far. With every possession shed, it becomes easier to shed another. I am almost 45 years old, and could easily live another 40 or 50 years. I am faced with just what I want that to look like.
When I leave in April, I will be leaving for an adventure that will truly be life-altering for me. I will be doing something (hopefully) beneficial for the world, while also experiencing an adventure. I will have a place to reevaluate just what is important to me. I will have no trappings to material items that will bind me. When (if) I return to life in America, it will be up to me to craft my life.
What Really Matters
Instead of sadness or nostalgia, I feel liberated and light. I feel eager to get on with things. I have come to realize that what means the most to me is the connections I make with people. I treasure the little episodes with people I meet and spend time with. Time and how you spend it is the commodity that you must protect. With that realization comes the willingness and desire to shed anything that holds you back.
I have started counting down my days until I leave for the Peace Corps. In many ways, I have done all I can do, so it is a waiting game. I work. I write. I occasionally go on a date. I watch movies. I try to pay off bills.
I am the kind of person that hates downtime. I seem to live perpetually in the future, so it takes a colossal effort for me to slow down and savor the moment. I do love to take nature walks, but I detest the cold, so I have been home-bound a bit for the last month.
Adult Dating Is Complicated
I had a recent romance that was a revelation to me. He was a wonderful man, and I will forever be grateful to have met him. Sadly, our paths were not to continue for long, but the time that we had was intense and wonderful.
Since our brief interlude, I have had a few epiphanies. One, I am redoubled on my commitment to leave for the Peace Corps. I have realized that I was wavering on my plan because I was infatuated with him. He did not ask me to stay, but he certainly welcomed my desire to stay with him. It was fascinating to see that almost as soon as we ended, the confusion dropped, and I was as clear as ever. It was almost as if I had awakened from some spell.
Pleasing Others Above Myself
Two, I have realized that I have always lived my life to please others. I have held onto desires for myself, but I was always willing to abandon them for love and commitments. That was admirable when I was raising children, but at this point, it is just foolish. If I am ever going to experience what I want to experience, I must do it now. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Three, dating gets quite complicated the older you get. I have many opinions about why that is, but essentially I think it comes to this: we all have a past, and we all have lived long enough to have a good idea of what we want. We are also old enough to recognize that there will be life afterwards if things don’t work out.
Four, I almost unthinkingly fell into a traditional gender role with him. It was frightening how naturally I just allowed his life to take over mine. Part of the reason was because he was running multiple businesses and was always busy, while I am wrapping up my life here, so my schedule is a bit more flexible. I found I was very willing to follow his lead. I have realized that it is a pattern that is almost ingrained in me, and it was scary how it was almost an intuitive move.
Ready For Change
Finally, I suppose I am just ready for a change. I want to be yanked from my comfort zone and be forced to adapt to a new life. I want to get out of my head and do something worthy. I want to leave everything behind and redefine all that I am.
Is There Really a Relationship Between Drinking Certain Tea & Losing Weight?
Could the Real Secret to Weight Loss Be Something as Simple as Tea?
By Elizabeth (Liz) Swann Miller
There I was standing in the wilds of Africa with a massive, red, venomous snake looking right at me and a single thought racing through my mind –“why in the world did I risk my life for this cup of tea?”
The story so intrigued me that I decided to leave the comfort of my home in the US and venture into a remote area of Africa populated by a Kenyan tribe to find out if the tales about this ‘voodoo tea’ were true.
What I discovered changed my life, in that it has allowed me to lose 41 pounds of unwanted fat.
That’s right, not only did the tea really exist (and it’s definitely not ‘voodoo’) but it turned out to be even better than the stories let on.
You see, not only does the tea get rid of hunger pangs; it also activates your body’s natural ability to burn fat. On top of all that, it also boosts your energy without containing potentially harmful caffeine.
I’m going to tell you all about this incredible tea, including how you can get the recipe, in just a minute. But before I do that, let me explain in a little more detail how I ended up in the jungles of Africa.
The first thing you should know about me is that I have degrees in both Psychology and Naturopathy and for over 10 years, I’ve been a practicing Naturopath (ND) specializing in healing through nutrition.
Basically, what that means is, I help people lose weight and improve their health through their diet. Naturally, when I heard about this amazing tea, I was excited.
The fact that I heard the story while I was battling excess weight myself is ultimately what led me to Africa.
At that time, my pregnancy had really taken a toll on me. After multiple complications, I was put on bed rest … I spent 80% of my time stuck in bed, and I was forced to give up the active lifestyle I loved.
I became sluggish. I felt exhausted all the time. Eventually, I developed a sweet tooth, and I absolutely lost control of my weight.
I felt like a fraud. Here I was helping people all over the country lose weight and get the bodies they wanted while I was lying in bed looking worse than I have in my entire life.
Honestly, I felt disgusted with myself, and even though my husband was very supportive, telling me he didn’t care what I looked like, I knew deep down he just wasn’t attracted to me anymore.
Finally, I decided to face the music. I got on the scale one day after having my baby and saw that I was 41 pounds over my target weight.
I couldn’t believe it. I went back to bed and cried.
If you’ve ever gained extra fat, if you’ve ever felt like your body was out of control, I know how you feel. More importantly, I now have a solution that works. It’s fast, easy, and it tastes delicious. I’m going to tell you more about this tea in just a second.
This is the very same tea that helped me drop every one of those 41 hard-to-lose pounds. I feel that weight loss coupled with the success stories of so many others who have followed my program more than justify my “crazy” trip deep into the jungles of Africa.
Now, about that tea…
To put it simply, red tea has the most remarkable “fat-flushing” action I’ve discovered in 15 years of traveling the world as a Medical Maverick.
I’ve seen some truly mind-blowing fat-loss results, but this red tea is by far the most impressive, most incredible thing I’ve ever discovered.
In studying the tea, I’ve learned that its 5 unique ingredients are scientifically proven to trick stubborn fat cells to open and release hard-to-lose fat.
Without getting too much into the science and boring you, the five herbal ingredients basically work in harmony to transmit signals from your brain to your fat cells to burn unwanted fat. It allows you to shrink your fat cells withoutany feelings of hunger.
Up until now one of the main problems with trying to lose fat (especially around your belly) has always been getting stubborn fat cells to “let go” of the “locked in fat” so the body can “flush harmful toxins and fat away.”
Due to cutting-edge research, we now know that the hormone “Noradrenaline” may hold the key to unlocking fat cells and shrinking them.
In a landmark study at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), part of the NIH, researchers showed that Noradrenaline is an arousing hormone known to control cell volume. (NIH/National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. “Brain may flush out toxins during sleep; Sleep clears brain of molecules associated with neurodegeneration: Study.” ScienceDaily. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131017144636.htm (accessed July 2, 2017).
In other words, Noradrenaline is what causes the action of “the incredible shrinking fat cell.” It signals your body to start using your belly fat for energy.
Now here is the really good news:
People who drink this delicious red tea experience increased Noradrenaline production. That’s why they lose a lot of weight, particularly in the typically hard-to-lose belly area.
That’s when I knew … I wasn’t crazy for making that trip to Africa. In fact, it was probably the best decision of my life! I think red tea might just be one of the biggest weight loss discoveries of the past 50 to 100 years.
It is certainly working for many people who have struggled to lose weight in the past. To learn about the five ingredients that make up red tea (all are available at the local grocery store) click here. You’ll also learn more about how red tea can help you lose weight and get the body of your dreams.
Based on more than a decade of research spanning over 500 medical studies as well as almost three years of real-world testing, this program has the results – and the science – to back it up.
Kyle Cooper, creator of The Fat Decimator System, is a former marine and a certified trainer who has been training soldiers in the military and civilians to get in their best shape possible for the past 10 years.
This program is based on a chance meeting with a Korean medical student while serving in Afghanistan. This man introduced Gunny Cooper to a whole new way of looking at weight loss and health and it’s revolutionized the way that he trains his clients and how he’s been able to help tens of thousands of people regain the bodies they’ve desperately missed.
This system peels back the veil on weight loss by dispelling the myths and showing you the science behind how the body works and how to work in harmony with your body’s natural fat burning abilities to rapidly, safely and permanently shed unsightly and unhealthy pounds.
This comprehensive book is broken down into three different sections:
These three elements combined create one of the most comprehensive and easy-to-use fat loss programs to date. People all over the world are already using it to lose weight quickly and easily while living a healthier and happier life along the way.
Last year, I met and fell in love with the most incredible man I had ever met. He fascinated me with his travels, adventures, and intelligence. He showed me a life I had never considered before, and it was amazing.
We have had an intense and passionate romance, that came to an abrupt halt when his contract for work ended in America, and he had to return to Germany for his next project. Though we tried to find ways to keep him here or for me to join him there, it just never came together for us. It was absolutely heart-breaking and gut-wrenching.
In the months that have passed since his departure, my emotions have run the gamut. There is regret that we did not have more time. There is pain from the separation. There is appreciation for what we had together, and there is hope that we will be together again.
We have continued our relationship out of sheer stubbornness. It is so hard to release something that was so incredibly magical. Even as we both take other lovers, we cling to one another. When I consider ending things completely, I must wonder, what is there to end? We message each other daily, but we have not seen each other in months, nor do we have an exact date for a reunion.
I want to be angry with him for leaving, but how can I? He is being true to himself in living the life he desires. In his own way, probably without realizing it, he has released me to be the woman that I should have been all along. I finally took the initiative to join the Peace Corps, which was a lifelong desire of mine.
I also remember telling friends that, after having such an amazing man in my life, a new bar had been set. How could I choose unworthy men after him? I could only imagine the Superman that would come to me next.
The lovers that I have had since have all been special in their own way. I have no real interest in money, long-term relationships, or security, so I have held no agenda. I have chosen lovers who were fascinating and accomplished. I love meeting men from other countries who can teach me about the world from their standpoint. I love meeting men who are able to challenge my worldview. I have been able to truly enjoy them for who they are, and when our time was done, we kissed, held one another, then said goodbye with no regrets. I am pleased to still call most of them friends.
Knowing that I am leaving the country for two years to fulfill my dream has allowed me to step back and just live life. It has been liberating. And yet, in a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan, the Man of Steel himself has stepped into my life.
The day we met, I had just decided I was leaving Charleston until it was time for me to leave for Mozambique. On our date, within minutes of meeting one another, I had told him of my plan, and yet, he has enchanted me. We have lived more in the few weeks that we have known one another, than I have had in entire relationships with others. Our connection is deep and almost otherworldly. Perhaps because of the time we have left, we are pouring ourselves into one another.
This comes down to, not a choice between two amazing men, but rather which will I choose: a future with him or my dream life?
The one lesson I have learned is that when you release a lover, even if you both have every intention of reconciliation, once you allow the moment to pass, it will never be the same. New lovers will enter. New paths will open up. I know the person I will be after the Peace Corps will not be the person I am now. Will we still cling to one another as we do now?
And yet, if I choose him, will I ever grow to regret not following my dream?
What he and I both believe is that everything happens in its time and exactly as it is meant to be. He was meant to come to me now. I am so grateful for him, and I shall cherish every moment we have in the time that we have. I am blessed to have him.