Starting My New Job Today

I start my new job today. It will be nice to start a new routine. I have spent far too much time sitting on my butt and watching movies. I suppose the downtime was what I needed, but I haven’t really enjoyed it.

I also made a decision. I am not going anywhere until at least June of 2018. I know that I am too unsettled from all of the upheaval of the last couple of years to make any good decisions. I wanted to stay with Mom until after the holidays. If I returned to FL at that point, it would be the middle of season, so rent would be ridiculous, traffic would be gridlocked, and I would not have time to get settled and make money before the slow season came again. I think June is a good time to evaluate my plans. It will also be almost a year from my breakup.

I have lost almost 46 lbs now. I feel really good physically. I actually bought two pair of jeans yesterday. I cannot remember the last time I wore jeans, but I’m thinking probably 20 years. It gets cold here in the winter, and my wardrobe is full of sundresses and flip flops. The pretty sundresses that I have worn for years are now getting a bit loose on me, too.

The other “benefit” to losing weight, is suddenly, I appear to be back on the radar with men. It has been so many years since I felt noticed, that I find I am a bit unsure what to do. When I realize a guy is actually looking, my reaction is typically a startled surprise. Far from the confident woman I once was, I feel more like an awkward teen nowadays.

I am also woefully unprepared for understanding the “rules” of dating. It’s been 15 years since I was actually out in the dating world. I will say, the quality of men is much improved, since, by the time they are my age, they tend to have their own place and some financial stability. I know I could sleep with people, but I think it’s too soon for me mentally. I also am not prepared to engage in a relationship. I suppose I am just looking for some distraction from my ex, and to make new friends. I guess I just need the practice. Let’s just call it networking.

Our breakup is different this time. Being in a new place has forced me out of my comfort zone, and in a place where I must take action. When we broke up back in Fort Myers, I had to get used to a routine, when he was intimately intertwined in my life. It made his absence felt all the more keenly. Here, everything is different, so I am not constantly faced with his absence. I actually go through large parts of my day without thinking about him. It doesn’t really hurt anymore. He is receding into the background a bit.

I am finally learning how to be alone. It’s nice. I wake and sleep when I want. If I want to go somewhere, I do. The food in my home is what I want. I feel healthy. I did not choose sobriety for any reason other than to go on the keto diet, but I am realizing the benefits of it. My skin is looking good. I’m dropping weight like crazy. I have energy, sleep well, and save money. I wonder if I will ever pick up the habit again. 

Well, I suppose I have rambled on long enough. I suppose the point of today’s post is simply to say that I’m healing. I know I will get there.

Click Here to Read More About Relationships

10 Days in Ireland: 
A Woman Alone on the Vacation of Her Dreams
eBook $6.99 & Paperback $9.99 on Amazon

In 2003, I embarked on a 10 day journey to Ireland on my own. I was a single lady, wholly unprepared for what was to follow. My plans and reality came crashing together, when I realized I did not plan out my trip as well as I had assumed. What was supposed to be a tour of Ireland, became a intimate portrait of life with the locals. 

(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i[‘GoogleAnalyticsObject’]=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,’script’,’’,’ga’); ga(‘create’, ‘UA-93353774-1’, ‘auto’); ga(‘send’, ‘pageview’); // (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});


Please share your thoughts about the article!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.